The Dreaded Screen Time...
...and how to stop feeling like a failure.
My kids have always had too much screen time. There. I said it.
Slap my wrists.
Photo by Erik Mclean on Unsplash
When they were younger especially, it was a necessity. I needed the time to rest, regroup.
Picture the scene.
I lie there on the sofa, sick and groggy from a night of broken sleep. It’s 6am, and I was woken half an hour earlier. I feel anxious, unkempt, unclean, and desperate. So I shove CBeebies on and doze on the sofa while L is engrossed. My vision flits in and out of Octonauts, Sarah and Duck, Numberblocks….snatches of it filter into my dream like state. Hubby is away with work.
I feel guilty. I wish….WISH I was one of those parents who could function on very little sleep but I’m not. The neuropathic pain and fatigue has built up over the past months, years even, and it’s too much. I burst into tears.
The screen is my saviour right then. L is distracted and I can head to the next room and get my head back in the game.
She doesn’t even notice I’m gone.
I felt like so much pressure was put on me by society…and inadvertently by my peers. Your daughter should have no screen time, she needs a better diet, she needs more exercise. Kids need to be healthier…model children. They need to be sociable, which of course means you need to be more sociable as well (even if you’d rather stick needles in your eyes than sit there and pretend everything is ok with you).
MS or not, we’ve all been there right? Surely?!
It can’t just be me.
I functioned better than expected in the early years MS wise, but I knew that I needed to let some of these ideals go in order to make it work.
Screen time was the kicker. And getting her out of the house as much as possible. Actually no, I’m being unfair on myself. I did get out as much as possible, it’s just my possible was different to my other parent friends.
So I backed down. I stopped putting the endless pressure on myself.
And my kids have turned out just fine.
E, as an 8 year old boy, is more attached than L. I think it’s just in his nature. He’s always been very obsessive with things, and I feel the Nintendo Switch is just his new Lego or dinosaur phase of the past. He has a new game which has become a bit of an obsession, but as he can play with his friends from the comfort of his own space, I, more than anyone, can see the appeal in that.
He actually used to hate screens. Had a real aversion to them. Then the pandemic happened and all of a sudden he was thrust into a world of zoom calls with school and trying the muster up the enthusiasm for phonics when it’s taught via conference call. It didn’t go well. It’s only been the last year or two when he discovered Minecraft on his tablet (basically his beloved Lego but with no parameters), and now he likes Fortnite.
I can’t say I’m overjoyed about this, but he loves it. He loves the challenge of it, and the fact that he can be sociable with his friends without leaving the house. It was the first time we’ve encountered peer pressure for him. His two best friends played on it, so it was literally like he was missing out if he wasn’t on board. They started playing it in the school playground with E having no idea what was going on. It started to give him anxiety and he would burst into tears begging me to let him play.
I don’t like it because it’s a ‘shooty’ game. But kids, mainly boys it has to be said, find a stick and it becomes a gun, right? It’s like it’s a predisposition.
So even in these older years there are challenges.
My MS is a much more stable, but I still struggle on a daily basis. Again I reflect on those early feelings and wish I had the inclination to come up with inspiring and distracting things for them to do. But that all requires energy. And I have dwindling supplies.
I’m never going to be the Mum that can drag them out of the house often and go on long rambles or excursions. My MS just won’t allow it.
So yes. I’ve made my peace with screen time.
You’ve made my life as a Mum less stressful and more manageable. My kids watch too much of you, they play on tablets, on laptops, on Switches, but as a consequence I can function.
They have a less stressed Mum who has the energy to smile.
So THANK YOU Screen Time.
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Until next time…..